topless and nipples

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Former Playmate of the Year Victoria Silvstedt apparently felt a public beach in St. Tropez was a good spot to rub one out yesterday, so here she is for your viewing pleasure. Usually I go for the "Man, this jellyfish really latched on hard" approach, so hats off to Victoria for basically not giving a shit. The world needs more role models.

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Because what's a month without seeing Lily Allen's nipples, here she is out in London last night giving the paps a show. At this point, I'm pretty sure I could draw Lily's nipples blindfolded. And by draw I mean touch myself because I'll assume I'm alone in a dark room. "What's all that crying? And did I just hear a woman jump out a window? Must've been the wind."

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Here's Rihanna in Paris yesterday wearing a basically see-through dress that conveniently covers her nipples while still making you stare at your monitor for five hours because you know they're there if only you squint hard enough. Which is why I'm convinced this is some sort of sorcerer's cloak. Who put you up to this, Rihanna? Was it Madonna? It was Madonna, wasn't it? Damn her dark arts!

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In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here's a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive the memory of getting fired for pretending the fax machine was Blake Lively's breasts. Wait, I did that. Anyone know when will I stop peeing toner?

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Here's Sophie Monk on a photo shoot this afternoon where she accidentally flashed some nip. And by accidentally I mean her publicist yelled "Nipple! Now!" then patted himself on the back for a job well done. As he should. [Note to celebrity publicists: I will fall for this every. single. time. Just throwing that out there.]

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Here's Pamela Anderson this morning on the Richie Rich Catwalk at New Zealand Fashion Week while completely topless in a bikini bottom and a shower curtain wrapped around her. So for all you fashion savvy readers, the "Shit, I'm a Dead Stripper in a Landfill" look is in this Fall. Hepatitis optional.

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Nipple Morning rages on! Here's Lady GaGa performing at the launch of V61 hosted by V Magazine this week wearing some sort of insane outfit you can completely see through. I don't even understand the point of it except to make my censor stars look non-existent. Unless she knew that would happen.... I'm kidding. I'm pretty sure the only thing Lady GaGa knows is that LSD tastes great on toast. Or a piece of sandpaper. It really doesn't matter.